04.2024 Water & Wheels

Ran a 16-mile half-marathon. Celebrated Hot Dog Week. Attended a first birthday. Smoked around backyard fires. Swam laps. Biked cycles. Normal spring things.


This month’s playlist:

Perfect Days

My second Wim Wenders. Decidedly different than Paris, Texas. But there’s a relationship between the protagonists in both. Spare words, deep emotions, and generous hearts. We are lulled into the comfort of strict routine, quiet moments, and simple beauty. We’re just as shattered when the protagonist’s rhythm is interrupted and our hearts melt as he accommodates the intrusions with gentleness and kindness.

“The world has many worlds.”

Fruits Basket

The 2019 remake of the lauded 2001 series. I still don’t understand the name. An entertaining romcom with a satisfying slice of drama. Enjoyable characters but my interest in the narrative ebbed and flowed a lot with the first two seasons. Thankfully, the journey pays off in the third and crescendos with several great emotional moments.

The Farthest Shore

I’ve been ripping through Ursula K. Le Guin’s Earthsea series concurrently with Dune and I’m enamored with this fantasy world and its written style. I love how it’s strangely grounded. The stakes are around the characters’ hearts. And even though some may be powerful, or wield magic, all are fragile and equally susceptible to human frailty. There are no superheroes here, just people.

The Outer Worlds

Not to be confused with Outer Wilds. This is sci-fi adventure RPG that’s a fine way to pass the time but not great in any particular way. The combat is serviceable and the writing is fun. I’m dumping all my points into persuasion and talking my way through most encounters like a snake oil salesman. The silly side characters are the highlight. Side quests are worth doing purely because some goofy guy is going to be waiting to swindle or murder you at the end of it.


This month I also finally developed half a dozen rolls of film, yet have scanned nothing. I could make a curtain of the unscanned rolls hanging around the apartment. Been attending a Saturday morning writing group and I’m getting excited about this next project. Oh, and I submitted a couple photos to a zine, and was published.

03.2024 Knife in a ranch bottle

Everything and nothing happened this month, it seems. I paid my taxes. I trained for my half-marathon. It got hot and then cold again. I think I learned the origins of Tumblr’s obsession with the Ides of March? Eventful, I guess.


This month’s playlist:

The Before Trilogy

Though I haven’t seen much of his filmography, I’m an appreciator of Richard Linklater’s work. I liked School of Rock, loved Bernie, been meaning to see A Scanner Darkly, and though Boyhood did not resonate with me, I respect the dedication in creating it. And Boyhood--with its choice to simply wait for its actors to age into their roles drawing out production for over a decade--is closely related to my biggest blind spot: The Before Trilogy.

Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, and Before Midnight--each made and set roughly a decade apart following the same characters portrayed by the same actors--were formative films for many of my friends. So a triple feature on a Sunday afternoon seemed to be the perfect opportunity to experience them for the first time. These movies are all walking and talking. In lesser hands, with lesser actors, the afternoon at the movies would have become an afternoon nap. Instead, I spent six hours getting to know a pair of beautiful, messy people. I shared in their love and excitement and wept with their grief and distress. Stunning.

The X-Files & Twin Peaks

I finished both shows this month. Revival seasons included. A months-long endeavor. One ran longer than it should, the other cut short.

I’d seen a good portion of The X-Files before, maybe up to season six? I’ve heard many arguments this is where one should stop. But I wanted to see it through. My enjoyment faded after season eight. But the show had already begun to turn into a parody of itself by season seven and only got worse. The revival was particularly atrocious fanfic. Do not subject yourself to the later seasons like I did. Thankfully, my love for the show and its characters remains intact.

Twin Peaks, on the other hand, was canceled after only two seasons on a brutal cliffhanger. I can’t imagine how devastated the fans were at the time. Fortunately for me, I was able to roll right into the movie and revival. While The X-Files seemed to be obsessed with preserving its formula in later seasons--only becoming more creatively incestuous as a result--Twin Peaks improved by allowing Lynch’s sorcery to evolve it. The two seasons, movie, and revival are distinct but form a cohesive, challenging creative work. Twin Peaks isn’t my favorite series, but I admire it quite a bit.

Poor Things

I used to be a hardcore book before movie guy but two recent experiences changed my mind. One I have already written about with Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep and Blade Runner. An amazing example of one piece of art giving rise to another.

The most recent experience is Poor Things. I decided to read the book after watching the movie because the characters were so charming. The two works’ presentations are different but equally endearing. Reading the book now makes me appreciate the omissions and condensation necessary for film, and the director’s visual choices and additions. It’s like I watched a creatively interpreted abridge version and now I’m reading deeper in the expanded volume.

I think being so staunchly book-first made me approach movie adaptations with a lot of judgment. Now it’s like I’m tasting a sample of a story and can choose to dive into the full course if it’s compelling enough.

Sparrow Solitaire

I first encountered Mahjong Solitaire on my Game Boy. It came on one of the bootleg carts, which were all that were available in Thailand, that claimed “100 games in 1!” but just had the same ten games repeated across ten pages with slightly different names. This version of Mahjong Solitaire did not include a tutorial. I was able to discern that the goal was matching pairs but did not understand why some tiles could be selected and others not. I grew frustrated quickly, the young lad I was, and abandoned it. But the stacks of tiles rendered in 1-bit graphics with dithered shadows clung to my memories and surged to the surface when I saw Sparrow Solitaire for the Playdate.

This version mercifully contains a tutorial and my mature and more patient mind enjoys finding pairs and strategically freeing blocked tiles for future matches. I keep my Playdate at work and Sparrow Solitaire is the perfect mental break. The charming 1-bit graphics and lo-fi music and low-stakes gameplay are soothing and draw me into a meditative state. Lovely.

Little Simz

I was recently recommended the music video for Gorilla by Little Simz. A visual feast I thoroughly enjoyed. And I was quite taken with the music too. I’ve been listening to her albums--all distinct with their unique textures and experimentation--and started a Pandora station which has introduced me to a host of other musicians I’d never heard before. I should watch more music videos. After all, they’re the regular vector for introducing me to my favorite bands.


This month I mainly kept returning to the theatre to watch Dune: Part Two. I got to see it in 70mm IMAX. Hearing the projector whir and be overshadowed by those giant images is something else. I also made an infusion from Blood Oranges, a Blood-cello. Reviews have been good.

02.2024 Worm Boyfriend

The world is descending into hell so obviously I’m high on the Spice Melange and escaping into a fictional universe descending into hell. Dune (2021) in IMAX again, revisiting Dune (1984) in theaters, reading the source material: Dune, Dune Messiah, Children of Dune, God Emperor of Dune. I see an earthworm stranded on the pavement after the rain and I cry, "Shai-Hulud!"


This month’s playlist:

Happiness

I stumbled across Shūzō Oshimi’s work via The Flowers of Evil, a very odd and uncomfortable story that is worth the read. Happiness was far more accessible for me and, delightfully, a vampire story that is faithful to the mythology’s original themes. Gore, despair, and body horror. With a smidge of solace in the end.

Suzhou River

This is one of those instances where your cinema bro texts you a name and you just watch it, no questions asked. Not the first first-person-view film I’ve seen (that prize unfortunately goes to Hardcore Henry) but it is the first movie I've experienced where it doesn’t feel like a gimmick. This movie flows. You’re lulled into it like a dream. And when you wake up you’ll have an unquenchable thirst for Żubrówka Bison Grass Vodka.

Odd Taxi

What a surprise. I was expecting a comedy due to all the anthropomorphic animals (conditioned by Bojack Horseman) but got a rather dark crime drama. Very good writing with distinct characters with a unique twist at the end. Excellent single-season series.

Helldivers 2

"I’m doing my part!" I barely dabbled with the original. I appreciated the gameplay and humor of the friendly fire of the initial outing, but it didn’t hold my interest. But the sequel changed that by moving the isometric view to over the shoulder and emphasizing the online co-op. Multiplayer isn’t my bag, especially PvP, but I make an exception for PvE. Squishing bugs and blasting automatons to spread "managed democracy" with internet ranbros is exquisite.


This week I also published a nonfiction piece, and have been making constant Dune jokes online and IRL and people are tired of it.

01.2024 There’s snow in my boots

Felt like I couldn’t get a full head of steam this month. Got interrupted by our annual ’snowcalypse’ mid-way. To its credit, this was a genuine snow and we had a delightful winter wonderland for a couple days. But then it was cold and icy and grimy the rest. Though, it was nice to work remote for over a week. Making coffee, bundling up on the couch, embarking on a much-needed deep clean of the apartment... I have that I-could-have-done-more feeling when I really did-a-lot. My brain needs to shut up.


This month’s playlist:

Runaway Train

I did not get what I expected from Runaway Train. I expected an 80s action flick with a twist of Kurosawa, due to his involvement in the script. I should have known better.

It has the trappings of 80s action (a prison break and an out-of-control train and everyone is sweaty despite it being set in Alaska in the dead of winter) but with the dark existentialism often present in 70s cinema. When the train first emerged from the mist I was struck the same as when the truck roared to life in Sorcerer.

The movie delivers on its violence and adrenalin. But in the next moment, when the shouting stops, in the silence, you hear the throbbing grief of injustice, of stolen life, of the futile desire for something better for the next generation.

Runaway Train’s final image will haunt my imagination.

Nobody Saves the World

Fun to play and the writing is goofy. The constant form changes and mix-n-matching abilities between them are a blast. How all these move sets and passives work together is a testament to the excellent game design. Just the right depth and consistently engaging. The only thing I’m not crazy about is the art style, but that’s mere indifference.

Dune

Second read, this time on tape. Enjoyed the pacing much more when read out loud. Grasped the themes and arc far better. Dune’s universe remains fascinating, as does its themes of battling fate and free will. Light on action, but the long, nuanced dialogue scenes are riveting delivered via audiobook.

Already listened to the sequel, Dune Messiah, and well on my way through Children of Dune. I’m going to be so prepared when Dune: Part Two arrives in March.

Bocchi the Rock!

I’ve been on an anime binge this month. Caught up on Jujutsu Kaisen (had to rewatch S1 too because I forgot most everything) and Demon Slayer. The former was neat, the latter got annoying. But I saw the Bocchi the Rock! tag circulating on Tumblr and decided to check it out.

What a pleasant surprise. I need more slice-of-life in my life. Very funny. Love the experimentation of animation style and medium for comic moments. Ryo is my spirit animal. I need a second season of this.

Khun Narin

Forever grateful to my friend for discovering this cassette tape at our local record store. Been listing the album off and on all last year. It’s been comforting to listen to Northern Thai rock so far away from the villages where I grew up hearing it.


This month I also remembered how much I loved Jujutsu Kaisen’s season one ending and I’m checking out PI.FYI, a brand-new social network. Seems like a fun little experiment.

12.2023 Love and unselfish concern for one another

Coasting into the new year glutted on cookies and Mom’s cooking and too many presents. Attempting to enjoy these last few moments of calm and spend my time reflecting this coming first week of 2024. Remember, January is not for jumping into the deep end. Wade into the new year with thoughtfulness. The test run is February.


This month’s playlist:

How Do You Live?

What a banal decision to release this film in the West with the localized name “The Boy and the Heron.” It makes me sick.

How do you live?
A defeated statement in the face of our overwhelmed existence.

How do you live?
A demand to consider your responsibilities to community and ethics.

How do you live?
A desperate cry for guidance.

This is the most visual experimentation I’ve seen from Miyazaki--the loose, smeared chaos of the fire for one example. And the story is fantastical and terse. I feel an ocean beneath its surface and I have yet to plumb it.

I will be asking myself this question come the new year.

Rant: An Oral Biography of Buster Casey

My first Palahniuk. This book starts a little left of center and keeps curving until you wonder how you ended up where you did at the end. You cannot predict the destination. Not even sure what to think of it. All I know is I enjoyed the journey. I love the device of concurrent interviews, like a video documentary. You’re learning just as much about the interviewees as their perception of the protagonist. It’s impossible to divine truth from legend.

Final Fantasy VI

I’ve never played a Final Fantasy. I haven’t played many full fat JRPGs. But I’ve been told this is one of the best. Enjoying the GBA port on my Pocket. Still getting my feet wet.

Chai

I bought their latest album on cassette on a whim last time at the record store. Now I can’t get their exuberant pop songs out of my head. Never listened much to J-pop outside an anime opening or closing song. Interested to see where this will lead.


This month I’ve been resting and eating and not much else. That’s all I care to do. But I am giving my Sigma fp some attention it deserves. Also, you could check out my year in movies.

11.2023 I made this for you

Pedal is terribly still to the metal. I won’t see relief until early December. I’ll need to unplug with a vengeance for the new year. The long Thanksgiving holiday has been welcome, but not ideal since I have a deadline hanging over my head. Even so, I’m thankful for good food and good friends. My mac’n’cheese and limoncello have earned me high praise at various friendsgivings.


This month’s playlist:

Alan Wake II

My game of the year. Ever since playing Remedy’s Control, I understood this studio makes video games only for me. Control is the most aesthetically stunning game I have ever played and the narrative is the exact weird I crave. When Remedy announced the were creating a connected universe, and Alan Wake II would be the next entry, I scrambled right up onto the bandwagon.

I played the Alan Wake reissue in preparation. A novel game. Interesting combat, but it quickly became annoying to me because I felt it got in the way of the story which was weird and confusing in the nicest way.

Alan Wake II is a decade long refinement of its predecessor and it shows. The combat keeps the unique flashlight and gunplay mechanic and rebalances it in the spirit of survival-horror games. Enemies are far fewer, far more deadly, and everyone is much more fragile. You’re fighting for your life instead of slogging through yet another endless shooting gallery. The narrative is just as wacky and creepy, but the presentation is in a league of its own--building on the foundation they laid in Control--blurring the lines between cinematic and interactive media.

Characters, characters, characters. Living and distinct. I’d hang out for an eternity with them if I could. Sam Lake and the team at Remedy have perfected their alchemy. Alan Wake a mixture of Twin Peaks and The Twilight Zone, Control a blend of SCP Foundation and The X-Files, and II an unholy chimera of both.

<3 <3 <3

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep & Blade Runner: The Final Cut

I just finished reading Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep and had to revisit the movie adaptation. They are nothing alike.

I do not say this to diminish Blade Runner. It is a cyberpunk masterpiece regardless. 

My first experience was the Director’s Cut; this round’s the Final Cut. The visuals are breathtaking. It’s even more apparent how 2049 deftly expanded on the aesthetics and themes established here. But Blade Runner took the barest whiff of inspiration from the novel and ran in a completely different direction. 



Do Androids Dream has none of the rain, or neon, or crime ridden streets. Instead it is set on a depopulated, irradiated, dying earth. A lonely earth. Murder is unheard of because--legally and religiously--all life is considered sacred. Down to the smallest ant. Even a strange VR spiritual movement called Mercerism networks human consciousness through collective suffering to engender empathy for their fellow humans. 

But exclusion and isolation are pervasive. One must put on appearances to fit in with society. Specials, those mutated by radiation or simply neurodivergent, are barred from emigrating to the space colonies. The colonies are revealed to be just as desolate as the earth they are urged to leave. Androids are banned from the home world, from autonomy, and from being considered alive. 

This is Deckard’s spiritual and emotional torment: retirement has become murder to him. A revelation that isolates him completely from society. 



The film is an aesthetic tour de force. The novel is a distressing rumination on broken and denied connection.

The Last Waltz

A friend of mine has been talking up this Scorsese concert documentary for years. I knew nothing about it. When I asked I’d get,”It’s about The Band’s last show.” And I’d always think,”But which band?”

Now I’m acquainted. I am a fan of The Band. I’m a late bloomer when it comes to appreciating music. My palate is broad. But streaming an album isn’t the best first impression. I’ve bounced off many bands because the record didn’t grab me. Seeing a band live often changes that. Hearing the music on a proper speaker system, seeing the effort and emotion of the artists performing their craft. Music in its true form is a multisensory experience, just like my treasured cinema.

This is what Scorsese accomplishes with The Last Waltz. There are wide shots of the stage and clever camera moves. But his foundation is the extreme closeup of the the artist’s face. So we the audience can see the sweat and passion and be immersed in the experience. I left the theatre with great appreciation of the talent displayed, and thankful that I got to enjoy it with a joyous audience.

A Murder at the End of the World

I will watch anything Zal and Brit put their hands to. Their work has been instrumental in my personal growth. I love their boldness to be strange, to collaborate, and be true.

I’ve only watched a couple episodes of A Murder at the End of the World and it’s proving to be a thrilling murder mystery so far.


This month I finally posted that piece of flash fiction and have been “live tweeting” episodes of Twin Peaks and X-Files and staying up far too late.

10.2023 Punkin_Patch_v2.0.23

I feel like a leaf blown about by the chill autumn wind. A relentless procession of incidents: work events, birthdays, a wedding, camping, parties, gatherings. Little time left for inessential things like chores or artistic pursuits.

It’s the season to let off the gas. Collect myself and come to a full stop for the end of year holidays. Let’s refocus on the essentials and rest.


This month’s playlist:

Arrival

Two movies made me weep this month for opposing, inextricably linked themes. Killers of the Flower Moon and Arrival. Mankind’s terrible indifference and the Creator’s terrible love.

Arrival is a treasured film of mine. I was worried that it would lose impact on second viewing -- certainly I would receive it differently, much like Alien which I saw again earlier in the month. But Arrival’s themes have only become more potent to me. My eyes were damp throughout.

Chasing a film lauding the value of even the briefest life with the callousness found in Killers of the Flower Moon was catastrophic. I was despondent the rest of the night.

Twin Peaks

Second attempt. Now that I’ve seen more of Lynch, I think I better understand his work. I appreciate the operatic performances more, odd/silly narrative beats (assassinating a bird!?) paired with serious/sinister subject matter, and entertaining dialogue. If a character is sad, Lynch wants them to be grief stricken. If a character is mad, they should be enraged. If they’re jealous, they should be murderous. Emotional maximalism.

Zipper

This is my favorite game on the Playdate. It’s perfect. The art style is impeccable and nostalgic. The gameplay is a joy to discover and master. Captures the feel of samurai films, that power fantasy and vulnerability, and funnels it into turn-based strategy. Infatuated.


This month I also shared some zoo photos (just not here yet), I cracked opened Alan Wake II and can feel it will be my game of the year, and enjoyed Joe Pera’s cozy comedy special.

09.2023 Friedkin Fall

It actually cooled off. Fall is nigh. I must prepare to mourn the end of shorts and flip-flops season.

I also turned 32. I celebrated with copious drinking and dragged my friends to see the new Komodo dragon exhibit at the zoo (largest in the Americas!). The day was well observed.


This month’s playlist:

Sorcerer

The name William Friedkin meant nothing to me last month. Now his work possesses my thoughts. A friend commented that this director likes mean endings. Perfect analysis. Friedkin tells cynical stories led by loathsome characters surrounded by worse miscreants. And the conclusion never brings relief for the protagonist. Their best hope is a merciful bullet through the head.

Sorcerer was my first exposure and remains my favorite. The French Connection and To Live and Die in LA are amazing. Sorcerer is special. I want to write stories how this looks. Spare, concise visuals that speak louder than a line of dialogue. Tight editing. Naturalistic camera work. It’s just incredible.

Pokémon FireRed Version

My game was Crystal. Never played generation I or III. Just Crystal. Never beat the Elite Four either. I’d just play until I got bored and start over.

Now that I have the Analogue Pocket and was gifted carts for Crystal and the GBA remake of Red, I felt it was time to face the Elite Four once and for all. I started with FireRed because I was curious about the original game, but not curious enough to revisit it without the quality of life updates that came with the GBA version. It’s been fun. It’s pokémon.

The Elite Four is beaten (as is that bozo, Gary) and I managed to catch Mewtwo with only two Ultra Balls? But I’m itching to start Crystal. That cart looks so cool plugged into my Pocket.

Berserk

I still haven’t finished reading the incomplete manga. I may once I complete the original anime series. The animation, specifically the fights, are not as impressive as I anticipated. This series focuses on arguably the more important aspect of the manga: betrayal. I have not witnessed a greater one than depicted in this manga. I’m curious how it will hit in the anime. My heart breaks for Casca and Guts.

The King in Yellow

I have not listened to a better audiobook. The narrator’s voice was perfect this collection of short stories. I felt I was listening to a lost radio program of supernatural fiction and tragic romance. True Detective introduced me to the iconography of Carcosa and the Yellow King. It piqued my interest when I learned Lovecraft drew some inspiration from the author’s work. But years passed and it took an instagram story praising the audiobook to put it back on my radar.

I loved the eerie shorts all somehow invaded by a mysterious printed play. Its words pervading the popular culture yet selectively cursing an unfortunate few with madness or death. Little is explained. The imagination is left to play.

I also enjoyed the romances. Full of yearning and disappointment. But I wish the author revisited the Yellow King in his later work. What other horrors would he have wrought?


This month I also posted some more photos and wrote a piece of flash fiction I’m not ready to share yet. But a friend of mine keeps sending me published pieces and they’re straight bangers.

08.2023 Golden Chunks

Nothing new. It’s hot. Spending a lot of time on photography. I made marmalade from scratch. I was excommunicated from a friend group for saying spaghetti is an abomination and linguine is the superior pasta shape. Seeking higher-minded individuals.


This month’s playlist:

Oldboy

The 2003 film received a 4K remaster this year and blessedly was released back to theaters. I can’t remember when I first watched it -- I’m certain it was on a laptop. This did not diminish the experience. But I was thrilled to see it on the big screen.

I picked up so much more on the second viewing. I also prepared myself to not be as enamored by the twist. But that was unnecessary. It did not surprise me, obviously, but the moment is so well crafted it still hit me with full force.

See Oldboy in theaters while you can.

Honorable mentions to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (animation renaissance in full swing), Oppenheimer (gorgeous on 70mm but should be just as affecting on a smaller screen), and Tokyo Pop (fun and very cute).

Dragon Ball Z

This is where they begin the power climb in earnest. Planet breaking fights. Several “oh, shit!” moments when true strength is revealed. The final arc, Buu saga, is definitely the best paced. Constantly morphing and subverting the established path to victory which satisfyingly required Goku to call on the power of others to triumph. Great series finale.

Frieza is still my favorite villain. Best design.

At its core, DBZ is still Loony Toons: martial arts edition.

The Legend of Grimrock

I haven’t been gaming much as of late (That’s going to change because I just received my Analogue Pocket). But I have been fiddling with Legend of Grimrock. A first-person dungeon crawler throwback, it claims. I wouldn’t know. It’s the first of this genre I’ve played. The gameplay is methodical and thoughtful, midway between turn-based and real-time. Exploring dark corridors, managing my supply of torches, fighting skeletons. Surprisingly calm and chill. Feels pure compared to the massive, complex experiences being released lately.

One-Punch Man

I’ve seen the anime. Season one was a spectacular showcase of animation prowess. Season two...significantly less so. I wanted more so I finally began reading the manga.

There are two versions: the original web comic (rough, cartoonish presentation) and the official manga remake (polished and impeccably detailed). I have been reading the later. One-Punch Man may be a parody of a genre DBZ exemplifies but its art style isn’t part of the joke. The talent and production value that goes into these panels exceeds those of manga trying to affect a serious tone.

And One-Punch Man isn’t one note. While a parody of the shōnen genre, its also an incredibly well written shōnen with excellent characters to boot. Exciting to look at, interesting to read, and flawless comedic timing.


This month I also shared some neglected rolls of film and enjoyed reading some wisdom on writer’s block.

07.2023 Commodified Cinematic Universe

I don’t have much to say about July. Happy birthday, Adrian. I’m glad I didn’t buy you DVDs you already own for once.


This month’s playlist:

Inscyption

It is impossible to praise Inscrytion fully without spoiling the experience. Great gameplay (I’m not even a fan of digital deck-building games), original visuals, and a mysterious, shapeshifting narrative that demanded I see it through. The most satisfying gaming experience I’ve had this year.

Gave me the bug to revisit Doki Doki Literature Club. There’s a spiritual tether there.

Seinfeld

The OG. I finally watched through the entire series for the first time. Seinfeld permeated my childhood. Mom and Dad were fans. They tucked references into everything. The child-safe swear? “Newman!” What are we having for dinner tonight? “The Big Salad.” It was a delight to discover so many origins from my family’s lexicon -- most of which I was oblivious.

This run has ruined my appreciation for sitcoms I’ve enjoyed in the past. They are feeble imitations.

Maybe the greatest series finale of all time?

Claymore

I believe this was one of the first manga I ever read. But I never finished it. So I picked it back up from the beginning. Love the dark fantasy setting, exciting combat illustrations, and the often disturbing creature design. But the narrative is sparse and characterization frail. It doesn’t have much emotional punch when I feel it should.

I’m going to see it through to the end. The aesthetic carries it.

Johnny Mnemonic in Black and White

I’ve been aware of this movie for years. It became a priority when I learned a black-and-white version was released. To properly render a film in black and white, you cannot simply turn off the saturation. You must light specifically for it (see Guillermo del Toro’s Nightmare Alley: Vision in Darkness and Light) or spend great care on a new color grade (see George Miller’s Mad Max: Fury Road Black & Chrome). I was curious to see if this mid-90s cyberpunk rerelease was merely a gimmick.

It’s not a gimmick.

It’s elevated.

Johnny Mnemonic recast in silver and onyx could be mistaken for some lost 1960s sci-fi film. A feature-length episode of The Twilight Zone. The narrative is your standard 90s sci-fi Hollywood fare, but the new visuals impart a level of prestige that I did not expect. I looked up a few clips from the theatrical release and... I will be watching it in color, ever. Black and white is the only edition that exists for me.

Other notable mentions: Zardoz, The Host (long overdue), The Raid (long overdue), and the Ken movie.

Update: this discussion between the director, Keanu, and William Gibson about the production and rerelease of Johnny Mnemonic is a delight. The godfather of cyberpunk wearing airpods 🤌.


This month I finally scanned my backlog of film (yet to post any of it!), rediscovered Cherry Glazerr (they have a song about grilled cheese that’s somehow horny), and read a disturbing report about the U.S. government planting cyanide bombs out in the countryside that you can just stumble across and if they detonate you die a slow painful death??

6.2023 I'd like it Thai hot

Finally got hit with the double whammy of irresponsible heat and unreasonable humidity. There’s nothing like stepping outside and into the embrace of a steamed moist towelette.

Despite the summer tribulation, June was mercifully slower-paced. The only major disrupter was when I was gifted an old pair of cabinet speakers. Realistics from the 1970s. I found a good receiver for cheap and spent much of my free time rewiring my media center. These speakers sound incredible. So incredible they revealed how garbage my turntable and tape deck are. One upgrade leads to another.


This month’s playlist:

The Holy Mountain

I saw several good films and a couple great ones: Past Lives (true art) and Across the Spider-Verse (true animation). But The Holy Mountain sticks out because I think it is the first true avant-garde/surrealist movie I’ve ever watched.

I have watched a few Lynch movies, but Lynch is unique in my mind. The only reason I heard of Alejandro Jodorowsky is because of the documentary of his Dune adaptation that never was. So I went into The Holy Mountain blind on his name alone.

What followed was 114 minutes of being shown the last thing I expected, scene after scene. The movie is highly symbolic with pop imagery that seems trite. But this imagery is quickly inverted. Or mocked. As soon as I thought I grasped a theme, it would be subverted.

Jodorowsky refuses to let us put anything in our neat little boxes. If there’s an interpretation, it lies with Jodorowsky alone. And I admire him for that. Even if The Holy Mountain is devoid of meaning (doubtful), it is a visual treat with fantastic, strange imagery.

The Bear

I continue to have a million little nitpicks with this series. But the strength of the writing and acting overwhelms everything. This is what prestige tv is supposed to be.

Season two bravely changes pace because the story necessitates it — The Beef is dead. A lesser show would just shovel what worked last time into the willing mouths of the audience. The characters grow, truly. Relationships improve.

The Bear doesn't abandon its hallmark cacophonous, chaotic scenes. Conflict abounds—situational and interpersonal. But informed logically by the narrative and characters. Old ground is not retread in old ways.

Season two is a subtle inversion of season one. Characters rise and fall in unexpected but earned ways. And the season culminates in corporate success and a personal implosion in brilliant contrast to the last.

I admire this season so much.

Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart

3D platformers are comfort food to me. What I would give for a new Sly Cooper. This new Ratchet hits the spot in Sly’s absence.

Insomniac officially hit a level of graphical fidelity where Rift Apart is essentially a playable CGI movie. If you saw this on a theatre screen, you would assume it was an Illumination or Dreamworks production.

Lovely worlds to explore, fun combat, and just the right amount of challenge that gameplay feels breezy but not cheap. Having a good time.

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow

I borrowed this blind based on my sister’s recommendation of “it’s good y’all.” Paraphrasing. She has good taste, even when the something isn’t for me.

TTT is not something I would have picked up on my own. Not fantastical enough in premise. But these characters are alive. I love them. Gabrielle Zevin’s writing of their interactions, how they process the world, and their emotions is fantastic. How she flows from plot, introspection, and memory is effortless. I understand each character’s point of view. And I grieve how these relationships break down over the unsaid and assumed.

I am learning so much about how to write a character’s inner world—characters that can be known. I am learning so much about relationships. I love learning this way.


This month I also experimented with flash photography on my digital and film cameras. But I haven’t edited or scanned anything yet. I have like four rolls of unscanned film.

05.2023 It’s not a meal without rice

Work was a relentlessly wound spring that finally released mid-month, just in time to host visiting parents. Glad to spend a week of vacation with them. But it’s difficult to fully rest when completely off your normal schedule and rhythms. And I didn’t even take a breath once we said our goodbyes because I learned there was a Thai/Lao new year festival within driving distance and had to attend (i.e. gorge myself on sticky rice, moo ping, khao piak, and other sorely missed dishes).

So I returned to work just as worn out when I left it.


This month’s playlist:

The Sting

I only watched three movies in May. 2001: A Space Odyssey. Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. The Sting. One is seminal. One I’ve already forgotten. And one is warm nostalgia.

The Sting was one of a few dozen VHS tapes that came with us to Thailand and all we had to watch in English for several years. I loved the cream dust cover depicting Robert Redford with his arm draped around Paul Newman’s shoulders while he lights a cigar with a dollar bill. I don’t remember if mold got to the tape or if we wore it out with repeat viewings. Many of our VHS met that fate before we upgraded to VCD — later DVD.

I was overjoyed to see it again a decade and change later on the big screen at a movie theater. It was even sweeter that I got to share that experience with my parents. Funny. Tense. Satisfying conclusion. You want to hang out with these scoundrels even if they’ll pick your pocket the first chance they get.

Succession

I’m glad I no longer have to listen to wall street gobbledygook like “upside” or “headwinds” or other made-up words Kendall Roy spits up. But I will miss this family of goblins and the disgusting brothers and some of the best writing committed to screen. This is prestige tv. A valuable time investment. Most other series are just a box of slime puppies.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

I have played two Zelda games and finished only one. My experience with this franchise is not broad, but I have fond Game Boy memories. I tried Breath of the Wild (BOTW) a few years ago and bounced right off it. I wasn’t in the mood.

Its direct sequel released and I figured I’d give it another go. BOTW is the most pleasant open-world game I’ve ever played. Following the good advice of a friend, I turned on “Pro” mode which hides most of the HUD — specifically, the mini-map. Riding my horse across Hyrule following directions gleaned from NPCs is sublime. It’s too easy to glue your eyes to a mini-map and follow it like a GPS, beelining from objective to objective with growing impatience. The game becomes a chore. Exploration — a waste of time.

I don’t feel rushed in BOTW. The situation is dire, but not urgent. The game’s NPCs actively tell Link to slow down and prepare properly and offer locations to visit by describing obvious landmarks you can see on horseback, not just on a map. This doesn’t feel like the Zelda I’m familiar with. But it is an interesting evolution for the franchise, and an improvement for the open-world genre overall.


This month I also shared more photos taken in Austin and read a couple interesting articles: an essay on evangelicalism and an investigation of the working conditions of Lost’s writers' room.

04.2023 I am a tomb

Spring has finally arrived which means one thing: bike season. Brisk rides in the crisp morning air with an espresso and pastry at the finish line. Healing. Throw in a little journaling and reading — you already have a perfect weekend. I also have an experimental Spring-cello brewing and finally submitted a feature script to AFF like I’ve been threatening to for years.


This month’s playlist:

The Last of Us

This is a good show. Pedro is a good Joel. Bella is a great Ellie. Faithful where necessary and expounds when appropriate. A well done adaptation.

Where it falls short is simply the restrictions of the medium.

What made the game special was You. You became Joel. You try to save Sarah. You fail. You shoot the gun. You stab the knife. You murder.

And you lie to Ellie.

And you see in her eyes that she knows.

She knows.

The show reached similar highs to the game. It brought me to tears on occasion. But I can't tell if that was with its own power, or if it was simply riding the coattails of my memories playing that masterpiece of a video game.

Barry Lyndon

Kubrick’s follow up to A Clockwork Orange has been on my watchlist for years and it did not disappoint. 100% of that interest was motivated by the lens they stole from NASA to film the candlelit scenes on 35mm. The movie is gorgeous — painterly. And a deeply comedic satire. While this is the goofiest cast of characters I’ve ever met, they also got me misty-eyed during a truly tragic moment.

Glad I was able to experience it projected on 35mm film.

Meet Your Maker

I’m a solo player. I want a linear narrative. I don’t want to play with other people. I definitely don’t want to build anything. Meet Your Maker is the exception. Raiding other player-made bases is fun. Building bases for other players to raid is fun. Heck, it’s even more fun co-op. I never expected an online-only game to hook me this hard.

Having a blast and falling asleep thinking about new base builds.

Chainsaw Man

As I’ve written before, Chainsaw Man is great. Another season of anime is a long way off. But the new manga arc is ongoing. Tatsuki Fujimoto tactfully shrunk the stakes following the climax of the previous arc and introduced a new protagonist set on a collision course with Denji. It’s exciting, silly, goreful, and I can’t wait to see where it goes.


This month I also published photos of my first concept shoot and wrote a bit about how much I enjoy making animated gifs.

03.2023 Eh, could've done without

March was a mixed bag. Some highs, mostly lows. Ironically, the most exciting event this month was my friends moving away. They’ve been planning to move overseas since 2019 and were delayed for obvious reasons. Suddenly, last month, they had an opportunity to begin part of the moving process. Somehow they managed to pack up, sell their house, and ship their car in a few weeks. It is a bummer to see them go. But I’m more excited that they get to begin this journey.


This month’s playlist:

Tampopo

Not one, but two friends told me I needed to see Tampopo. And I ignored them. Until my local theatre screened it. I’m glad saw it on the big screen with a packed audience. From its fourth wall breaking opening scene that welcomed us to the movies and threatened bodily harm for being too noisy, its obvious Tampopo was designed to be enjoyed collectively.

It was a beautiful night. A celebration of film, of food, of life. Silly, playful, and a little poignant.

Party Down

Another ubiquitous recommendation that I resisted. Party Down is one of the rare shows that somehow improves with each episode. It begins funny and ends hilarious. Amazing writers, amazing actors.

Ghostwire: Tokyo

I’ve only begun this adventure. But wandering the streets of contemporary Tokyo after a pagan rapture and fighting off malicious yokai and urban legends rules.

The Dark Forest

I don’t think I would have gotten through this without an audiobook. I’m not sure how I got through The Three-Body Problem reading it plain. Liu Cixin’s writing seems to meander — a lot. It’s tedious. Even though I see the purpose it serves. He’s taking us on a journey, attempting to bring humanity and emotion into the hard science of his sci-fi epics. And it hit home for me at one particular moment in the narrative. I guess that justifies the tedium.

If the first half to two-thirds of The Dark Forest were a slog, the back portion is not. The revelations and concepts being clicked into place come hard and fast and leave you awed at the implications. It left me hungry for more so I barreled right into Death’s End.


This month I also finally published a roll of film I’ve been trying to scan for months. And ran across a neat article about the first human-captured color photos of earth that convinced NASA to make photography a priority.

02.2023 Is it summer yet?

All I did this month was sample nigiri and cook Spaghetti all’Assassina. Nothing else happened.


This month’s playlist:

Mother!

Mother! is the most profound experience I had this month. Unfortunately, I can’t discuss it in detail without spoilers. It truly is a film you need to discover as you watch it. All I can say is that nothing has made me sob that hard in years.

Horizon: Forbidden West

Horizon is great in so many ways yet my feelings toward it are lukewarm. It’s probably the best looking game on Playstation. Shooting robot dinosaurs with a bow is fun. Every character is exceptionally realized through writing, performance, and animation. Side quests feel just as essential as the main plot. It’s a gold standard for the AAA open world action RPG. And I started the game almost reluctantly.

There are a few elements I don’t like about Horizon, but to the game’s credit, it doesn’t force you to engage with them. I enjoyed my time playing. This franchise just doesn’t excite me going in. What keeps me is the genuinely interesting world that plays host to solid sci-fi themes. They get pretty crazy in this one!

I played through the campaign of Killzone: Shadow Fall after completing Horizon and it revealed two things about the developer: Gorilla makes pretty games, and they know their sci-fi. I need to remember that when their next game releases.

Uzumaki

I’m finally giving Junji Ito the attention he deserves. Horror manga/comics are interesting because jump scares are nearly impossible on the page. Even reading Ito’s work at night in the dark before bed, I haven’t found it scary. I would instead describe these tales as disturbing, shocking, gory, dark, and sometimes goofy. All entertaining. His tales are delightfully demented.

Uzumaki has been my favorite so far. It’s a wonderful blend of weird creepiness that careens into an imaginatively eldritch conclusion that leaves your questions unanswered because the answers would be incomprehensible. Ito’s Lovecraftian influence is obvious, but his illustrations and voice are unique.

Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam

The sequel series to Mobile Suit Gundam does not disappoint. It’s more of what made the original great with higher fidelity animation, excellent new and returning characters, and best in class mech combat. It’s continued anti-war themes without clear “good guys” and “bad guys” remains refreshing.


This month I also wrote new ekphrastic flash fiction.

01.2023 Scully wears a cross just like me

Two thousand twenty-three is in full swing and my only comment is, “I don’t wanna.”


This month’s playlist:

Possession

I saw some incredible movies this month. Bardo is fantastic magical realism. Regrettably, Babylon is bombastic and great regardless of my low opinion toward Damien Chazelle. Skinamarink is divisive in the right ways and has disturbed my sleep despite not finding it terribly scary while in the theatre.

But I need to write about the 1981 film Possession. I first heard of the movie when The Belcourt screened the 4K restoration. I knew nothing of it except it starred Sam Neill and the stills had a cold, clean aesthetic I dug. I regret not seeing it on the big screen.

After seeing Skinamarink I decided to stream Possession from Metrograph. This may be the most demented film I’ve ever witnessed with an unreasonable level of craft. Fluid steadicam movements, precise focus pulls, and beautiful, naturally motivated lighting clash/complement absolutely unhinged, near melodramatic performances which tell a seemingly pedestrian story of divorce and emotional anguish but results in a truly deranged conclusion.

I think I understand why Andrzej Żuławski native Poland banned it upon release. It shines too brightly.

The Great

Adrian finally made me start The Great. And it’s great. This series is exceptional in combining historical fiction, comedy, and drama. Comedy that can drop from joviality to sobriety and back is always impressive to me. The Great masterfully juggles its dark, near black, humor while also clearly depicting the consequences of violence, despotism, classism, misogyny, and rape as no joke.

Excellent, excellent writing.

Psychonauts 2

A Double Fine production is consistently a breath of fresh air. Psychonauts 2 resolves the small annoyances of the classic PS2 original and leans harder into its strengths: excellent writing, wacky characters, and psychedelic mental landscapes.

It is a shame most games have settled into a paltry set of “looks.” Realistic, cell-shaded, pixeled... Not to say these games don’t look great. But original and imaginative visuals are a rare breed today. Psychonauts 2 takes the cartoony, highly stylized visuals of the original and realizes them at an almost Pixar level of detail. Mindscapes made entirely of teeth and gum are simultaneously icky and beautiful. Another astral plane is an immense, cluttered library that requires leaping into the pages of the books as penciled avatars. The joyous visual creativity in this game is a pure delight.

Neuromancer

I’m trying something different this year. Audiobooks. I used to think audiobooks were an inferior way to experience novels. Hypocritical of me since my mom read aloud the entirety of the Harry Potter series to me as a child and the experience was no less magical and imaginative. What finally clinched it for me was a study that demonstrated the experience of reading a book and listening to one are virtually indistinguishable in a brain scan. Both result in the exact same benefits.

So instead of listening to ephemeral podcasts whose contents expire the moment you listen to the latest episode, I’m reading more novels, with eyes and ears.

Neuromancer has been on my reading list for an age. Famous for establishing what became known as cyberpunk. Listening to the audiobook took some adjustment. I was bound to the narrator’s pace and subject to their vocal interpretations of the characters. Additionally, it is more difficult to pause and reread a section to better process it. Something I find vital when reading sci-fi. I settled into a mode of letting the narrative wash over me. Not worrying about missing details and allowing the swell of the story to carry me through. Different, but equally enthralling experience. I can see myself revisiting Neuromancer. To read it with my own eyes. The world painted is that rich.


This month I also questioned my existence, went all in on Tumblr, and scanned my backlog of film.

12.2022 Perpetually tired on the wired

I fight the urge to figure out my approach to the coming year at the end of December. My brain says everything must be set in place by the first of January to be in tune with some cosmic metronome. January 1st is no different than any other day. Fleeting. Time is not a cycle repeating. The universe is a clock winding down, each moment fractionally slower than the last.

December is not for planning. It is already filled with last minute assignments at work, buying presents, travel, exhaustion. The last couple weeks of December are reserved for rest. I block out the whole of January for planning and thought. No more hard starts for the new year.


This month’s playlist:

Tokyo Godfathers

December is packed with first-time watches I’d love to highlight, but the standout is Satoshi Kon’s Tokyo Godfathers. This is the most miraculous and subversive Nativity I’ve seen committed to film. Playful and comedic, though it doesn’t hold back from depicting humanity’s cruelty to the fringes. But that cynicism is drowned out by stubborn mercy and forgiveness. This movie is magical without saccharine tropes.

Might have taken the crown as my favorite Kon.

Vampire Survivors

This Mac and Playstation gamer is thankful for the iOS release of this gem. Overjoyed to join in on the fun PC players have had for a while. Some of the best pure gameplay I’ve experienced all year. Love all the secrets and unlockables to earn. A negative impact on my productivity at work.

Chainsaw Man

Startlingly faithful to the manga while still feeling new. It’s like MAPPA created an illuminated manuscript of the original work. 10/10 adaptation.

Friends have asked what’s the appeal of Chainsaw Man beyond that of a dude who sprouts the eponymous tool. Truthfully, that and the gore and the artful fight scenes get you in the door. But, speaking for both the manga and anime, the crassness is a thin veneer that covers deep characters managing grievous wounds. Chainsaw Man is a greek tragedy where the whims of gods destroy the small comforts of man. Except, instead of fire, Prometheus stole a chainsaw.


This month I also posted more photos of a cemetery. And ate Christmas cookies.

11.2022 How solid can a snake get?

Tumblr is pretty cool. I never explored it in its heyday. Investigating it now, I appreciate how the service is whatever you want it to be. You can use it like a Twitter, or an Instagram, or journal, or even a personal website.

So far I have a blog to post GIFs of my current hyperfixation, and another that’s essentially my Instagram feed but freed of Insta’s constraints and onerous algorithms. I’ve been having fun :)


This month’s playlist:

Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty

Hideo Kojima knows no subtlety. He paints his symbols large and loud. He tattoos his themes on his characters' faces and etches them in their names. His work is papered with personal fandoms. He grabs at new ideas like so many crayons and scribbles all over the page.

This isn't to say he hasn't anything to say. My point is Kojima isn't coy. Or mysterious. He isn't showing you a puzzle. He's showing you a collage.

All that to say, I am enjoying my first play-through of MGS2. Stunning visuals for a PS2-era game. And there’s some mindfuckery afoot.

Tár

I think this is the first release of 2022 I have seen that is a *film* movie. The craft present is breathtaking. Slick, invisible cinematography. Precise editing. Restrained narrative. Monologues. Performances that snatch your breath away.

I’ll need to catch up on Todd Field’s previous work.

Æon Flux

Thirty years removed from its original air date and this is still some of the most inventive animation I’ve seen in recent memory. Love the non-traditional, avant-garde storytelling.

In the commentary for the pilot, the creative team said when they introduced dialogue in the third season it was important it not supplant the visual narrative, but be another texture, not the driving force.

I often ended an episode with the thought, “Huh?” But always felt I had gained something.

House of the Dragon

Of the five series pitched to succeed Game of Thrones, I was least interested in this one. Felt very much like, “Let’s do Phantom Menace.” Unfortunately, House of the Dragon is great.

It certainly is more Game of Thrones. There is lineage. But it’s paced differently, better. It’s not afraid to let time pass and skip ahead where appropriate.

The characters got their hooks in me — all very good at making me forget their horrible crimes and root for their success. I will be tuning in next season, regrettably.

Also, the dragons are fucking terrifying now.


This month I also took photos and a little video while on a stroll.

10.2022 Sucktober

Feels like this entire month was taken up by massive work project deadlines and going to see vampire movies. Both spooky, I guess. Cold weather is closing in heralding the end of bike season. I am not looking forward to winter. Though, I am a fan of the holidays.


This month’s playlist:

The Hunger

I love my local indie movie theatre. The Belcourt shows a healthy mix of contemporary releases and classics. And I especially love their themed series. Recently they screened movies featuring David Bowie and showed a series of vampire classics. The Hunger tied into both.

Tony Scott’s feature debut is a slick, sexy, atmospheric experience that will lull you into a moody haze. Gorgeous cinematography and soundtrack. I would not be surprised if the costuming in the opening scene influenced the art direction for The Matrix.


Primal

Primal has been characterized as Genndy Tartakovsky’s “adult” cartoon. There are copious amounts of gore, yes. But it shares identical DNA with Tartakovsky classics: Dexter’s Laboratory and Samurai Jack. The same silliness and charm are kneaded into the brutal violence of this prehistoric world. For as many incredibly animated battles to the death, Tartakovsky inserts quiet scenes for his characters to reflect, brood, and rest. The “adultness” of primal is not the violence. It is complex characters dealing with their trauma and emotions in complex ways.

Also, the animation is top-tier.


Ouran High School Host Club

Long time fan of the anime (and the studio, Bones). So I decided to read the manga. And this led to a concurrent rewatch of the anime. Both are so good.

Host Club is a brilliant comedy. It also has deceptively deep characters, specifically Tamaki and the Hitachiin twins. The manga and anime deftly transition between the silly and serious.


Nosferatu

The climax of The Belcourt’s October Sucks vampire film series and also my music highlight of the month. Nosferatu was an unlicensed adaptation of the 1897 novel Dracula that was ordered destroyed by the courts. A few prints of the 1922 film survived, but only portions of the score that accompanied the silent film.

So on the 100th anniversary of the film, The Belcourt invited local artists (Eve Maret, Dream Chambers, Belly Full of Stars) to compose and perform an original score for the screening. It was a special experience to watch a silent film with a contemporary, ambient synth score with a live band in the theatre.


This month I also made a ton of Chainsaw Man gifs and photographed a graveyard.