02.2023 Is it summer yet?

All I did this month was sample nigiri and cook Spaghetti all’Assassina. Nothing else happened.

This month’s playlist:

Mother!

Mother! is the most profound experience I had this month. Unfortunately, I can’t discuss it in detail without spoilers. It truly is a film you need to discover as you watch it. All I can say is that nothing has made me sob that hard in years.

Horizon: Forbidden West

Horizon is great in so many ways yet my feelings toward it are lukewarm. It’s probably the best looking game on Playstation. Shooting robot dinosaurs with a bow is fun. Every character is exceptionally realized through writing, performance, and animation. Side quests feel just as essential as the main plot. It’s a gold standard for the AAA open world action RPG. And I started the game almost reluctantly.

There are a few elements I don’t like about Horizon, but to the game’s credit, it doesn’t force you to engage with them. I enjoyed my time playing. This franchise just doesn’t excite me going in. What keeps me is the genuinely interesting world that plays host to solid sci-fi themes. They get pretty crazy in this one!

I played through the campaign of Killzone: Shadow Fall after completing Horizon and it revealed two things about the developer: Gorilla makes pretty games, and they know their sci-fi. I need to remember that when their next game releases.

Uzumaki

I’m finally giving Junji Ito the attention he deserves. Horror manga/comics are interesting because jump scares are nearly impossible on the page. Even reading Ito’s work at night in the dark before bed, I haven’t found it scary. I would instead describe these tales as disturbing, shocking, gory, dark, and sometimes goofy. All entertaining. His tales are delightfully demented.

Uzumaki has been my favorite so far. It’s a wonderful blend of weird creepiness that careens into an imaginatively eldritch conclusion that leaves your questions unanswered because the answers would be incomprehensible. Ito’s Lovecraftian influence is obvious, but his illustrations and voice are unique.

Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam

The sequel series to Mobile Suit Gundam does not disappoint. It’s more of what made the original great with higher fidelity animation, excellent new and returning characters, and best in class mech combat. It’s continued anti-war themes without clear “good guys” and “bad guys” remains refreshing.

This month I also wrote new ekphrastic flash fiction.

01.2023 Scully wears a cross just like me

Two thousand twenty-three is in full swing and my only comment is, “I don’t wanna.”

This month’s playlist:

Possession

I saw some incredible movies this month. Bardo is fantastic magical realism. Regrettably, Babylon is bombastic and great regardless of my low opinion toward Damien Chazelle. Skinamarink is divisive in the right ways and has disturbed my sleep despite not finding it terribly scary while in the theatre.

But I need to write about the 1981 film Possession. I first heard of the movie when The Belcourt screened the 4K restoration. I knew nothing of it except it starred Sam Neill and the stills had a cold, clean aesthetic I dug. I regret not seeing it on the big screen.

After seeing Skinamarink I decided to stream Possession from Metrograph. This may be the most demented film I’ve ever witnessed with an unreasonable level of craft. Fluid steadicam movements, precise focus pulls, and beautiful, naturally motivated lighting clash/complement absolutely unhinged, near melodramatic performances which tell a seemingly pedestrian story of divorce and emotional anguish but results in a truly deranged conclusion.

I think I understand why Andrzej Żuławski native Poland banned it upon release. It shines too brightly.

The Great

Adrian finally made me start The Great. And it’s great. This series is exceptional in combining historical fiction, comedy, and drama. Comedy that can drop from joviality to sobriety and back is always impressive to me. The Great masterfully juggles its dark, near black, humor while also clearly depicting the consequences of violence, despotism, classism, misogyny, and rape as no joke.

Excellent, excellent writing.

Psychonauts 2

A Double Fine production is consistently a breath of fresh air. Psychonauts 2 resolves the small annoyances of the classic PS2 original and leans harder into its strengths: excellent writing, wacky characters, and psychedelic mental landscapes.

It is a shame most games have settled into a paltry set of “looks.” Realistic, cell-shaded, pixeled... Not to say these games don’t look great. But original and imaginative visuals are a rare breed today. Psychonauts 2 takes the cartoony, highly stylized visuals of the original and realizes them at an almost Pixar level of detail. Mindscapes made entirely of teeth and gum are simultaneously icky and beautiful. Another astral plane is an immense, cluttered library that requires leaping into the pages of the books as penciled avatars. The joyous visual creativity in this game is a pure delight.

Neuromancer

I’m trying something different this year. Audiobooks. I used to think audiobooks were an inferior way to experience novels. Hypocritical of me since my mom read aloud the entirety of the Harry Potter series to me as a child and the experience was no less magical and imaginative. What finally clinched it for me was a study that demonstrated the experience of reading a book and listening to one are virtually indistinguishable in a brain scan. Both result in the exact same benefits.

So instead of listening to ephemeral podcasts whose contents expire the moment you listen to the latest episode, I’m reading more novels, with eyes and ears.

Neuromancer has been on my reading list for an age. Famous for establishing what became known as cyberpunk. Listening to the audiobook took some adjustment. I was bound to the narrator’s pace and subject to their vocal interpretations of the characters. Additionally, it is more difficult to pause and reread a section to better process it. Something I find vital when reading sci-fi. I settled into a mode of letting the narrative wash over me. Not worrying about missing details and allowing the swell of the story to carry me through. Different, but equally enthralling experience. I can see myself revisiting Neuromancer. To read it with my own eyes. The world painted is that rich.

This month I also questioned my existence, went all in on Tumblr, and scanned my backlog of film.

12.2022 Perpetually tired on the wired

I fight the urge to figure out my approach to the coming year at the end of December. My brain says everything must be set in place by the first of January to be in tune with some cosmic metronome. January 1st is no different than any other day. Fleeting. Time is not a cycle repeating. The universe is a clock winding down, each moment fractionally slower than the last.

December is not for planning. It is already filled with last minute assignments at work, buying presents, travel, exhaustion. The last couple weeks of December are reserved for rest. I block out the whole of January for planning and thought. No more hard starts for the new year.

This month’s playlist:

Tokyo Godfathers

December is packed with first-time watches I’d love to highlight, but the standout is Satoshi Kon’s Tokyo Godfathers. This is the most miraculous and subversive Nativity I’ve seen committed to film. Playful and comedic, though it doesn’t hold back from depicting humanity’s cruelty to the fringes. But that cynicism is drowned out by stubborn mercy and forgiveness. This movie is magical without saccharine tropes.

Might have taken the crown as my favorite Kon.

Vampire Survivors

This Mac and Playstation gamer is thankful for the iOS release of this gem. Overjoyed to join in on the fun PC players have had for a while. Some of the best pure gameplay I’ve experienced all year. Love all the secrets and unlockables to earn. A negative impact on my productivity at work.

Chainsaw Man

Startlingly faithful to the manga while still feeling new. It’s like MAPPA created an illuminated manuscript of the original work. 10/10 adaptation.

Friends have asked what’s the appeal of Chainsaw Man beyond that of a dude who sprouts the eponymous tool. Truthfully, that and the gore and the artful fight scenes get you in the door. But, speaking for both the manga and anime, the crassness is a thin veneer that covers deep characters managing grievous wounds. Chainsaw Man is a greek tragedy where the whims of gods destroy the small comforts of man. Except, instead of fire, Prometheus stole a chainsaw.

This month I also posted more photos of a cemetery. And ate Christmas cookies.

11.2022 How solid can a snake get?

Tumblr is pretty cool. I never explored it in its heyday. Investigating it now, I appreciate how the service is whatever you want it to be. You can use it like a Twitter, or an Instagram, or journal, or even a personal website.

So far I have a blog to post GIFs of my current hyperfixation, and another that’s essentially my Instagram feed but freed of Insta’s constraints and onerous algorithms. I’ve been having fun :)

This month’s playlist:

Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty

Hideo Kojima knows no subtlety. He paints his symbols large and loud. He tattoos his themes on his characters' faces and etches them in their names. His work is papered with personal fandoms. He grabs at new ideas like so many crayons and scribbles all over the page.

This isn't to say he hasn't anything to say. My point is Kojima isn't coy. Or mysterious. He isn't showing you a puzzle. He's showing you a collage.

All that to say, I am enjoying my first play-through of MGS2. Stunning visuals for a PS2-era game. And there’s some mindfuckery afoot.

Tár

I think this is the first release of 2022 I have seen that is a *film* movie. The craft present is breathtaking. Slick, invisible cinematography. Precise editing. Restrained narrative. Monologues. Performances that snatch your breath away.

I’ll need to catch up on Todd Field’s previous work.

Æon Flux

Thirty years removed from its original air date and this is still some of the most inventive animation I’ve seen in recent memory. Love the non-traditional, avant-garde storytelling.

In the commentary for the pilot, the creative team said when they introduced dialogue in the third season it was important it not supplant the visual narrative, but be another texture, not the driving force.

I often ended an episode with the thought, “Huh?” But always felt I had gained something.

House of the Dragon

Of the five series pitched to succeed Game of Thrones, I was least interested in this one. Felt very much like, “Let’s do Phantom Menace.” Unfortunately, House of the Dragon is great.

It certainly is more Game of Thrones. There is lineage. But it’s paced differently, better. It’s not afraid to let time pass and skip ahead where appropriate.

The characters got their hooks in me — all very good at making me forget their horrible crimes and root for their success. I will be tuning in next season, regrettably.

Also, the dragons are fucking terrifying now.

This month I also took photos and a little video while on a stroll.

10.2022 Sucktober

Feels like this entire month was taken up by massive work project deadlines and going to see vampire movies. Both spooky, I guess. Cold weather is closing in heralding the end of bike season. I am not looking forward to winter. Though, I am a fan of the holidays.

This month’s playlist:

The Hunger

I love my local indie movie theatre. The Belcourt shows a healthy mix of contemporary releases and classics. And I especially love their themed series. Recently they screened movies featuring David Bowie and showed a series of vampire classics. The Hunger tied into both.

Tony Scott’s feature debut is a slick, sexy, atmospheric experience that will lull you into a moody haze. Gorgeous cinematography and soundtrack. I would not be surprised if the costuming in the opening scene influenced the art direction for The Matrix.


Primal

Primal has been characterized as Genndy Tartakovsky’s “adult” cartoon. There are copious amounts of gore, yes. But it shares identical DNA with Tartakovsky classics: Dexter’s Laboratory and Samurai Jack. The same silliness and charm are kneaded into the brutal violence of this prehistoric world. For as many incredibly animated battles to the death, Tartakovsky inserts quiet scenes for his characters to reflect, brood, and rest. The “adultness” of primal is not the violence. It is complex characters dealing with their trauma and emotions in complex ways.

Also, the animation is top-tier.


Ouran High School Host Club

Long time fan of the anime (and the studio, Bones). So I decided to read the manga. And this led to a concurrent rewatch of the anime. Both are so good.

Host Club is a brilliant comedy. It also has deceptively deep characters, specifically Tamaki and the Hitachiin twins. The manga and anime deftly transition between the silly and serious.


Nosferatu

The climax of The Belcourt’s October Sucks vampire film series and also my music highlight of the month. Nosferatu was an unlicensed adaptation of the 1897 novel Dracula that was ordered destroyed by the courts. A few prints of the 1922 film survived, but only portions of the score that accompanied the silent film.

So on the 100th anniversary of the film, The Belcourt invited local artists (Eve Maret, Dream Chambers, Belly Full of Stars) to compose and perform an original score for the screening. It was a special experience to watch a silent film with a contemporary, ambient synth score with a live band in the theatre.

This month I also made a ton of Chainsaw Man gifs and photographed a graveyard.

09.2022 Twelve more sleeps 'til Chainsaw Man

‘Tis the month of my birthday which means I receive presents and allow myself to spend unreasonable amounts of money. Everything I got and bought was super boring adult shit though. Symptom of turning 31. I was way too excited when my pair of 18$ socks arrived in the mail.

This month’s playlist:

Outer Wilds

Not to be confused with The Outer Worlds. I honestly don’t want to spoil anything about this game. The dawning realization of what the game is in the opening moments is just too sweet.

I love exploration and mystery in games. But I’m also lazy. So it’s easy for me to lose interest if the game is too opaque. Outer Wilds strikes the perfect balance. It manages to be hands-off and seemingly nonlinear without leaving me directionless. Thanks to a clever “Rumor” system, you know when you’ve discovered something significant and where you should look next. It’s got its hooks in me.

Children of Men

I’m tempted to write about my Avatar experience in IMAX 3D, but I think I summed it well enough on Letterboxd.

I rewatched Children of Men and confirmed that it is still my favorite film of all time. The themes I see in it are just too powerful. It shakes me to the core every time. Toying with writing an essay...

Its long takes continue to impress, some of the best committed to film. Alfonso Cuarón is one of my top respected directors and Emmanuel Lubezki is simply goated. Without him, Cuarón may not have been as ambitions with the single-shot sequences.

Dragon Ball

I remember seeing Dragon Ball stickers, coloring books, stationery being sold in stores when I grew up in Thailand. As ubiquitous as Disney merchandise in the States. But I never had the opportunity to watch the show. Thai dubbed versions of One Piece, Doraemon, and Hamtaro are what I remember being on TV.

I worked my way through the series while exercising in the mornings. The best way I can describe it is Loony Toons mixed with martial arts. Delightfully silly. Characters that grow on you. Fights that get your heart pumping.

I’ve rolled right into Dragon Ball Z, also a first.

Hyper-Dimensional Expansion Beam

A good friend of mine dropped this gem into the group chat. I’m utterly hypnotized by these bass-driven tracks with relentless saxophone solos. I put this album on for a bike ride and went into warp drive. Thirty miles slipped by like water. The Comet is Coming simultaneously amps you up and chills you out, somehow.

This month I also published a new ekphrastic piece.

08.2022 August Visitations

Consumption is at an all-time low. I suppose that could be a good thing. My time has been monopolized by work and socializing. The latter is certainly a good thing.

I could stand a few quiet evenings though.

This month’s playlist:

Prey

My only complaint about this film is it wasn’t released in theaters. I almost did not watch Prey because it was direct-to-streaming. Thankfully, I was convinced otherwise and my low expectations were shattered. Prey deserves the big screen.

A vibrant premise that remains faithful to the spirit of the original Predator. I was delighted when I learned there was a Comanche dub. It’s the only version I’ve watched. Disappointed the higher-ups didn’t have the balls to let the director film all the performances in Comanche as he wished.

Into the Breach

This game’s reputation proceeds itself. It is well earned. Turn-based, tactical strategy games rarely click with me. I like the idea of them. But they quickly become too tedious for me. Into the Breach ameliorates this by limiting the number of turns per stage and by making each move feel like it has enormous consequence. Stressful, yes, at the start. But irresistibly addictive.

I haven’t played a game with such pure gameplay in a while.

Sonny Boy

I was aware of this series by name only. I hit play thanks only to a passing recommendation and a brief description of the premise I received at a bar.

One of the more inspiring animations I’ve seen this year. Imaginative visuals and abstract narrative. Take a high school drama and mash it with Lost, but with pocket universes, and you have an approximation of the flavor.

This month I finally got around to scanning some film.

07.2022 Swolest thighs I ever did see

I’ve cultivated a new ritual for the summer. Every Saturday morning, I bike six miles to a cafe for espresso and a pastry. I spend several hours reading, writing, often just chatting with friends. Then I bike six miles back in the early afternoon.

I don’t know what I’m going to do when it gets cold again.

This month’s playlist:

Stray

The “cat game” is worth your time. The mechanics are minimal and the puzzles simple. The experience is exquisite and brief. It’s a wonderfully written interactive short story.

The ending gave me chills. I nearly shed a tear. Left my heart full and warm.


Bound

The Wachowskis’ directorial debut has been on my list to watch for years. I immediately bought a ticket when my independent theater announced it would be playing.

The visual language feels like a rehearsal for The Matrix which was released four years later. Unsurprising, since Bill Pope was involved with both. You won’t see bullet time here. But the staging, elaborate camera moves, and playful shots feel exciting and familiar. A wide, macro close-up down the barrel of a gun. A shot speeding along the coils of a phone line accompanied by cartoonish whipping sounds. An effortless blend of humor, violence, and tension.

Neo-noir well worth the watch.


The Bear

The Bear is not a perfect show. I find its symbolic dream sequences/visions ham-fisted. But this is overshadowed by earnest, humorous characters all trying their best. These downtrodden aspire to hope.

This show pursues the same positive vulnerability that Ted Lasso is lauded for, but does not share its overbearing optimism. Characters grieve, try to share their brokenness, and fail. This is what makes this season’s seventh episode so impactful. Not only is it a brilliantly choreographed continuous shot, it perfectly destroys all the well-intentioned work that built to that point.

It shines brightly in its imperfection.


Mere Christianity

I’ve staunchly refused to read any of C.S. Lewis’ nonfiction. Nonfiction is boring. Theology books are a waste of time. The man already transformed my spirituality with his fiction in Chronicles and The Great Divorce.

But I respect Lewis. So I’ve been picking up and putting down Mere Christianity for over a year. It is a little simplistic and old-fashioned, though I suppose I’m not the audience for this book. I appreciate that fact. The last few chapters caught my interest though. He starts jumbling philosophy, theology, physics, and ends up proposing the Creator is a higher dimensional being to explain the nature of the Trinity. He also concludes humans are less real because of our restricted view of time.

That’s the good shit. Make me feel infinitesimal beneath the eyes of God and the universe.

This month I also wrote a short piece of fiction, but I haven’t found the right photo to go with it yet.

06.2022 Katajena Bushovsky

June was disruptive to the routine drudgery. I went on vacation at the end of May/start of June. Friends of mine graciously let me bum around their house in Michigan for a week. I drank their coffee, drank their liquor, and ate their food while watching them work from home, do chores around the house, and wrangle their kids.

Five stars.

They also took me to a great lake (the Michigan one). I knew it was big. But it did not connect that it would have a vista like the ocean. Freshwater stretched across the whole horizon with a sandy beach was a sight to behold. Kicking myself that I didn’t drink from the sea.

My parents also came for a visit. It coincided with Father’s Day and Juneteenth so it turned out to be a nice three-day weekend. I got to drive them around town, show off the local eats, and take my dad to see the new Top Gun (an action film among action films).

This month’s playlist:

Mad God

My movie list this month was rather eclectic. Three are worth writing about. But everything has been said that needs to be about RRR. And all you need to know about After Blue (Dirty Paradise) is a young woman unearths Kate Bush on an alien beach and becomes unreasonably horny.

Mad God may be the most visually unique film to release this year. Composed almost entirely of practical VFX and grotesque stop-motion. Phil Tippett (whose work appears in Star Wars, Jurassic Park, and RoboCop) voids his mind onto the screen filling it with shit-golems, larval fetuses, and witch crows.

The story is minimal. And begins and ends with an excerpt of Leviticus at the start in which God pronounces a curse on humanity. What follows are simply vibes that follow that theme.

Mad God is gross and often uncomfortable. Yet we rarely get to see movies with such transgressive visuals, or made in this way. We are richer for it.

Love, Death & Robots

Animation is my favorite medium. I cannot state this strongly enough. Of all the things Netflix has bankrolled, I am most thankful for this anthology. A creative sandbox for ideas to come to life that would otherwise remain phantoms.

I wish the animation styles strayed from 3D more often. Regardless, the visuals are varied and often experimental. The writing is especially strong this season encompassing drama and comedy, sci-fi and fantasy. An engrossing short story collection.

Particular stands outs include Bad Travelling (fantastic writing and world-building), The Very Pulse of the Machine (awe-inducing premise), and Jibaro (just outstanding visuals and storytelling from Alberto Meilgo yet again).

Knotwords

I’m not one for puzzles. I like the idea of solving puzzles. I like feeling smart. Unfortunately, I’m much too lazy to invest time and effort into solving serious puzzles.

If a solution takes more than a few minutes, I usually drop it. Or if I’m playing a video game, search for a guide. Otherwise, I feel like I’m wasting valuable time when I could be doing something that requires considerably less effort.

The Wordle wave caught me like many others. That puzzle cleverly requests only a small investment of time and prevents you from gorging on the game by only offering a single problem a day. I took the bait which became a gateway drug to my current puzzle vice: Knotwords.

Knotwords somehow combines the crossword with sudoku, and the daily restraint of Wordle, to create something superior. Visually more daunting than Wordle, but once you understand the flow, just as accessible. And the payoff is worth it. I’ve happily spent up to half an hour solving one of these knots.

This month I also edited a vignette of my trip to Michigan.

05.2022 The Happening (2008) but in my sinuses

Spent little to no time on my personal creative projects this month. The job that earns my keep entered a busy season that required significantly more effort and focus (and hours). It was hard for me to give myself permission to prioritize rest. The fear of falling behind was strong. But it was the right decision.

Thankfully, the busy period is behind me and I can pick up those projects I put on hold.

This month’s playlist:

Severance

Tweets gushing over this show wore my patience thin. Regrettably, the praise was warranted. I’ll live to be contrarian another day.

It’s an ingenious blend of weird office culture and the sinister. The office architecture instantly reminded me of another favorite, Control. Probably the best season finale I’ve witnessed in recent memory.

Wasn’t a fan of the Waffle Party sequence. Felt incongruent with the tone of the rest of the show.

Memoria

The way to experience this film is to lean back and float away on its aural ocean. I was astonished how the visuals mainly serve the soundscapes of each scene. The narrative is minimal and slow. But the emotion and presence are dense, if you are able to let yourself be immersed in the experience.

Apichatpong Weerasethakul’s other works are on my watchlist.

Vinland Saga

Still got The Northman on the brain so I jumped into this manga series that’s been on my list for a while.

One scene sold me. The young protagonist is furious with his pacifist father who will not give him a sword. When asked why he wants one, the boy says, “To fight our enemies.” The father follows with another question, “Who are your enemies?” His son cannot answer. What the father says next I find poignant and devastating.

“You have no enemies.”

The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening

I’ve been playing this game for 25 years and have yet to beat it. The first game console I had access to was a Game Boy. We had two cartridges: Tetris and Zelda. I was good at neither as a child. But I would play Zelda until I got stuck, then delete the save and start over.

This cycle persisted through the Game Boy, Game Boy Color, and various emulators over the years. My current attempt is on a hacked PlayStation Portable (my other beloved handheld). I’ve finally awoken the Wind Fish. One final boss awaits.

This month I worked my fingers to the bone, then went on vacation.

04.2022 Fragile Express

Spring is here. The temperature is perfect. My half-marathon is behind me. The pollen hasn’t drowned my enjoyment, yet.

I traded my running shoes for a vintage touring bike. I’ve suffered enough summer runs. I am become bike guy.

This month’s playlist:

Strange Days

I considered writing about Everything Everywhere All at Once or The Northman, but much has already been said. Both took my breath away in their own way.

Strange Days accomplished the same. The 1995 film introduces its cyberpunk LA, on the cusp of Y2K, with a frantic, single take, POV robbery gone wrong and doesn’t let up until the ball drops. Stripped-down film cameras (massive compared to the digital cameras of today) were mounted to performers’ heads to accomplish these sequences. Innovative at the time, the results are stunning even today.

The movie engages the topics of racism and police brutality with surprising clarity. As my friend put it, Strange Days is a few cuts away from being the most anti-cop film ever made. How the movie depicts a mob boiling over into a full-blown riot is astounding. The terrifying images are burned into my mind.

Katheryn Bigelow and James Cameron know how to make a picture.

Death Stranding

After four months of following stock trackers every day, I finally snagged myself a PS5. And all I’ve done is play a PS4 game I’ve already written about. Twice.

Granted, it has received a few upgrades to take advantage of the new hardware, namely, a locked 60fps. This higher frame rate essentially transforms the game, making the experience consistently fluid and responsive. Less fighting with the game and more playing it.

I’ve already covered what makes this game special. The story is heady near nonsense. And it will always be novel how your actions in this single-player experience impact other players’ game worlds.

Tokyo Vice

A friend of mine kept hyping this series to me. I was prepared to throw it on the watch pile and leave it to mold. Then I heard two words that changed my mind immediately.

Michael. Mann.

My guy buried the lead here. The King of Heat directs the pilot (it’s apparent) and is an executive producer on the series.

Good shit.

Ethel Cain

Can’t remember where I ran across this artist. May have been a stray tweet. Dig the vibe of the singles and EP she’s released so far. As a bonus, I plugged Ms. Cain into Pandora and it generated a station exactly to my taste which has since become my daily driver.

This month I squandered my writing time tweeting profound statements.

03.2022 The star that birthed us

March was training for a half-marathon and wanting to work on so many things and doing none of them. A real turd. Then, last Monday, I went to see the movie below and it injected a long syringe of inspiration into my noggin.

This month’s playlist:

Last and First Men

The first and last film directed by composer Jóhann Jóhannsson. I was prepared for a boring art film when I entered the nearly empty theatre and sat in the middle of a row near the screen so the image would fill my vision.

What I experienced was transcendent.

The film is composed of long shots of abstract architectural monuments in 16mm black and white film, narration of a heady sci-fi tale, and Jóhann’s score. The result was hypnotic and sent chills down my spine.

I was dismayed to learn that Jóhann died in 2018. He contributed to so many movies I admire. I’m thankful he left us with this final gem.

Raised by Wolves

The space mullets are back.

This second season isn’t as strong as the first and shares some of the same weaknesses. Some dialogue is awkward, the pacing is rough. But, oh, when it gets going Raised by Wolves is a boulder hurtling down a mountain.

Moment after moment have my jaw hanging slack at the audacity of the writers. This is some of the wildest, most mysterious sci-fi I’ve witnessed on tv.

Destiny 2: The Witch Queen

I can’t seem to shake Destiny despite it not being a video game tailored for a solo gamer like myself. All I can say is it’s been a unique experience playing this game as it evolved over nearly eight years. I think I’m in for the long haul.

Jóhann Jóhannsson

I’ve been listening to the score of Last and First Men over and over. But it’s time to revisit his work on Sicario, Arrival, and Mandy.

This month I also sifted through last year’s photos.

snapshots_2021

The past year in photos. And the year before that.

02.2022 Toot Sweets

Funny. Last month had a strong thread of Shakespeare that’s trailed into February. The novel I read this month began with a scene from King Lear and other Shakespearean bits appeared throughout.

How is it only February? Feels like I’ve already had a year full.

This month’s playlist:

Station Eleven

The tastemaker has been hawking this novel for years. Only when a tv adaptation drops do I begrudgingly open the Libby app. Now this dumbass fool has to endure a weeks-long hold because everyone and their mother “want’s to read the book first.”

Melancholic and hopeful, without diminishing the grim realities of societal collapse.

But what impacted me most were a pair of pre-collapse characters.

“… once I built forts with my little bother in the forest, once all I saw were trees and all those things sound false, it’s like a fairy tale someone told me.”

“… but all of this was completely unremarkable because everyone else we knew did these things too, and here in these lives we’ve built for ourselves, here in these hard and glittering cities, none of this would seem real if it wasn’t for you.”

They lived on a remote island off the coast of Canada. They took a ferry to school. And when the both moved to the city, their childhood experience was so far removed from the social conscious around them, the only touchstone they had for home was each other.

These musings of memories of a far off home which current surroundings threaten to destroy alarmingly resonate with my feelings of my childhood growing up in Thailand. I’ll be pondering these words for some time.

Nightmare Alley

Had zero interest in seeing this movie in theaters. However, when the director announced new screenings in black-and-white, it became a must see. Guillermo del Toro said, though they released in color, choices of lighting down to color pallet were driven as if they were rolling on black-and-white film.

And it shows. I can’t imagine this film in color.

Excellent all around.

Peacemaker

Best superhero series on tv. Insane. Violent. And possesses actual living, breathing characters. Just might tug a tear from your eye.

Yakuza Kiwami

This is my first experience with this long-running series, and it is such a delicious meddle. Button mashy, hyperbolic street brawls. Operatic story and cut scenes. Goofy sidequests. And a huge selection of mini-games, some of which are impressive simulations.

Eating well.

This month I also spent too much time on Twitter and playing video games.

01.2022 Blockbusters of 1616

January has been a laidback struggle. Demands of work, me trying to determine what this year should look like for me, the unbearable cold — all grappling. I should stop and enjoy this sip of coffee...

I did not expect to receive so much creative input from Shakespeare this month. Back-to-back film adaptations of two of his tragedies. Then his words and style kept popping up elsewhere. I’ve downloaded Lear and Macbeth to my iPad, neither I’ve read before. The vernacular is difficult for me to follow, but I normally get the gist. They are short reads anyway. Might finally read Titus Andronicous. I’ve been told there’s a Lucius in it.

This month’s playlist:

Ran

Enamored by this adaptation of King Lear. For someone who has never read the source, there were some truly shocking turns. I forgot it was a tragedy and was crushed when the happy ending was snatched away. Fantastic performances. Filmmaking at its finest.

The Tragedy of Macbeth

Adored the artistic choices made for this contemporary adaptation. From casting, to dismissing affected accents, to the thoughtful blend of strengths from stage and screen. I loved the stage design unleashed from the confines of a mere proscenium. The black and white visuals only accentuated the dramatic, emotive architecture. Lovely.

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Already on season five. I’m obsessed. Some of my favorite moments are the inconsequential ones — Picard directing Data in scenes from Shakespeare or other plays. Silly, but full of Picard’s appreciation for craft, Data’s curiosity and earnestness, and their warmth for each other.

Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP

Purchased over a decade ago and never played. The first mobile game that I remember people saying “wasn’t just a mobile game.” A statement buoyed by the craft and uniqueness infused into the title. Its a rather traditional point-and-click adventure. Beautiful pixel art, music. Possess a tantalizing air of mystery. And fairly silly dialogue. Rye but laced with the dramatic; jumbled with contemporary colloquialism and made-up/misused words. A whiff of Shakespeare if you ask me.

P.S. Excited for the Superbrother’s next project. Eleven whole years between games!

This month I also looked back over the past year of journal entries and shared some field recordings.

2021 Excerpts

I journaled more in 2021 than any other year. I hope to make it more of a ritual. Less of an afterthought. In the meantime, here are some selections (with commentary) from the past year.

January

Seems I spent much of the month recollecting the previous year. 2020 was notable after all and I journaled little of it.

Also, taking notes on the Bible which I had decided to read through cover to cover.

February

Received my first dose of the COVID-19 vaccine. Pfizer.

Made note of this accounting in the Torah:

Exodus 21:32 — The cost of a slave killed by an ox is 30 shekels of silver.

Brief treatment for a new script idea:

The Last Star - At the end of time, the descendants of humanity orbit the last star still burning in the universe on a massive space station. They know their generation will watch it burnout. And the void will close around them...

Journaled about the snowcalypse which eventually became this blog post. The snow qualified as a “calyspe” because it started with rain, froze immediately, and transitioned to pure sleet before even bothering to drop actual flakes. The roads were in shambles for over a week.

The night of [February] the 14th temperatures plunged below freezing and every surface was covered by a glossy layer of black ice. I took two steps out of my front door and nearly fell on my ass...

Then it was just sleet for a couple days. Mounds of it. Diminutive glass orbs. Crunchy. Tinkly. You could walk in it. Like a very coarse sand. Almost gravel...

We did get actual snow eventually.

March

I have a lot of shoulds.

April

Bought a proper pair of headphones. I actually made several significant purchases this year, many to supplement the camera I purchased in 2020. Tripod, audio kit, backpack, gimbal, drone. An inherited couch catalyzed the purchase of a coffee table and a decent media center, finally. I also bought fountain pens and a keyboard for my writing.

My buying habits can be frustrating. I know what I need. Spend hours on research to find the perfect one. Then... I don’t buy it. Instead, I let the problem and solution fester in my mind like an invisible splinter because “I don’t need it now” or “I need to save up more first” despite already having the means. I spend months (even years) with low-level background frustration that could be remedied by simply clicking “place order.”

The boys hit up Dino’s this Sunday (first time in over a year). Many beermosas were had.

We’d been hitting up bars with patios (mainly Never Never) once we better understood what was safe and what wasn’t. Dino’s didn’t have great outdoor seating. So we stayed away until they expanded and renovated their back patio. It was a good day.

May

Some directors I appreciate:
Alfonso Cuarón — Children of Men (2006)
Iso Takahata — The Tale of the Princess Kaguya (2013)
Denis Villeneuve — Arrival
Terrence Malick — A Hidden Life
Alex Garland (mainly as a writer)
Hiro Murai (rooting for him, give this man a feature)

Many of the greats go without saying. Adding Julia Ducournau (Raw, 2016) to this list.

Coming out of quarantine wasn’t a casual thing. Indicative of an entry on the 15th which became this.

I’m starting to feel lonely ever since things have begun to open up. This is new.

On the 26th:

Ran a solo half-marathon (half-calf) last Satuday.

And I’ll do it again.

June

Mulling over a world where gods are made from graven images and are vital to society/economy. Wrote a “psalm” from the perspective of those relying on their graven images confronted by a “living god.”

ref. Psalm 121:4

The gods are sleeping;
who shall save us now?
Our enemies surround us,
their lord never rests.
We give them ears,
but they do not hear.
We gave them eyes,
yet they are blind.
Our sacrifices are not accepted.
We have nothing left to eat.
We are abandoned,
alone we face destruction.
Would the lord of our enemies listen to us?
Is there mercy for the stranger?
Stop your shouting!
The gods will not wake.
Cry out to the living one,
he who walks with his people.

Shaved head got lots of reactions... Nice to feel the breeze along my scalp. It’s funny observing my balding peers’ reactions. Always enthusiastic when they see my curls. Almost dismay when they see my shaved head. Like they’re living vicariously through my hair.

Ruminated on creativity, success, and failure instigated by the confluence of three works of art. Edited these thoughts into a post published on the 18th.

This social media haze is becoming the majority of my days. I don’t like it... Work wears on you, but procrastination can be equally exhausting.

...

Good trees can only produce good fruit.

...

Enjoying referring to pizza as “pizz.”

July

The very oceans have caught fire. One wonders if we need to go to hell if it will simply come to us.

On the 2nd:

Met with Brett & Peter last night. They pitched a doc to me. Subject has promise. Could be a good opportunity to collaborate.

Wrote some flash fiction that I think turned out well. Love the photo I was able to pair with it.

The 18th:

I’m thankful for I can go to the theatre again.

...

I don’t think I can go back to lined paper.

The 27th:

The sun exhales toward the horizon.

August

Powered through the third act and finished draft one of The Last Witness. It’s a relief. I’ve been struggling to complete this initial draft for nearly two years.

The Green Knight is a movie.

Got to go on a family vacation for the first time in a while. Arkansas. Middle of nowhere. Spent our time kayaking, hiking and eating good food.

Corona Extra with a shot of limoncello was the theme drink. Beercello.

September

The 8th:

Just started Ecclesiaties and I’m beginning to understand why the “Collector” considers everything a “mist,” a “vapor,” “but a breath.”

...

I must remind myself constantly that there is no emergency. After all, it is all a vapor. Time is not valuable because it is productive. A moment is precious if it edifies the soul. So I will not feel guilty for sitting on this patio, sipping coffee, and journaling.

...

I turn 30 this month.

October

Noted on the 4th:

I just found the Target receipt of the things Mom and Dad bought for my apartment when I first moved to Nashville. It’s dated 8.5.2014. Seven years this past August... I think they stocked my fridge too.

On the 10th:

I am drifting about like dried out straw.

November

The 1st:

Feel like I need to be doing something. Maybe I just need to be patient.

...

It’s that wind-down time of year... Shed the old.

...

I need more mental space. Room to wander.

The 7th:

I aspire to be just some guy...

December

Proverbs 29:1 ESV — “suddenly broken beyond healing” lmao

This phrasing tickled me for some reason.

2020 began with me meeting my parents’ new puppy, Ruby. 2021 began with her grown. This year I got to meet her puppies.

12.2021 It's over

I am out of the office. Do not contact me. Unless you want to hear my Logan Roy impression.

This month’s playlist:

Little Women

I never got around to reading the book in high school, though my sister and mother spoke of it highly. I’d usually think of that Friends episode when Little Women was mentioned.

I prefer reading before watching. But this Christmas, Greta’s version was put on the TV and my presence was mandatory.

Stunning performances. Loved the nonlinear storytelling. I laughed, my eyes leaked, my new year resolution is to read the novel.

Star Trek: The Next Generation

All we had growing up were the Star Trek feature films and the few odd Next Generation episodes recorded onto VHS tape. I’ve been meaning to properly watch through TNG before moving onto Deep Space Nine. Let the voyage commence.

A comforting and genuinely funny show.

Loop Hero

Help. Another game that has captured the spirit of Civilizations’s fabled “one more turn.” Please, I need sleep.

Excellent combo of resource management/deck building and mysterious lore. One more loop.

The Bible

Read through the whole ding dang thing this year. An exercise in discipline. Some interesting bits, many boring. I tried to approach it with fresh eyes with my current understanding of this collection of documents and letters. It’s comforting to have touched every bit of it recently. I feel better equipped for some tough conversations.

I think this sums the overarching theme I found.

”Sodom’s sins were pride, gluttony, and laziness, while the poor and needy suffered outside her door.” — Ezekiel 16:49 NLT

Pandora

When I need music, I’m looking for a sonic hobbit hole in which to focus. I want to hit the play button and go. That is Pandora’s one trick and it’s yet to be bested.

The OG music streamer is still alive (though Rdio isn’t, RIP), yet far from the limelight. It even offers the same features as the services that supplanted it. But all I care about are its original “radio stations.” They remain the industry standard. Serving tracks of exactly what you want while slipping something new in here and there. I have Pandora to thank for my favorite discoveries.

Git!